Leaving the Sip

    I thought leaving Mississippi was going to be awesome- packing up, saying goodbye, leaving with my family to go and unpause our life from where we left it in San Diego. With this situation looming over us, I am actually sad to be leaving Mississippi! What?? How did that just come out of my thoughts? Oh irony, I hate you sometimes!
    Leaving Dave behind for the next seven weeks just (for lack of a better word) sucks. We have spent so much of our marriage so far apart. In the 36 months we have been married, we have been apart for 16 months and have 2 more ahead of us with this DOC band experience beginning next week. I just wish there was a way for Dave to go to his job and tell them we all had to leave together! I don't want to to this alone- I don't want to do this without my partner. I don't want to live away from Dave, back in with my parents for the next few months. I am so grateful for the fact that my parents are an option, and they are not only willing to take us in, but completely fine with it... but I also just want to be with my family! My daughter, my husband, my dog... I just can't wait to be settled. Lately I feel like a gypsy. Back and forth to California, living out of suitcases, constantly packing and unpacking, subjecting Dani to timezone changes- this will be the third time this month!! And Daylight Savings was in the mix too! We are so blessed to have such an easygoing baby. However, even the most easygoing baby can only take so much. Did I also mention with all of this, she is teething and going through a not so fun 6 month growth spurt? Oh, and I have to put a helmet on her Monday? I'm surprised my milk supply is still functional.
    I have cleaned out two closets, a bookshelf full of clothes (we're living in a very cramped apartment), and my dresser. I have stacked my clothes, and separated goodwill out. I have lists taped to cabinets and the suitcases are out. Yet, I can't seem to put the items into the suitcases. I just don't want to do any of this!!
    It's the fact that I don't know what to expect on Monday. Will she hate the band? Will she get sores on her head from the heat of the band? Will she be able to sleep? Will people stare and judge us? Will they treat my daughter differently? Speak to her differently? Will her usual happy nature become more reserved? Will she become insecure? Will she sense my worry and frustration? How will the car rides go? We have a Britax seat that aready holds her pretty tight without the extra room needed for the band. And most importantly, how long will this be our reality?
    I can only pray that this is God's plan for some reason that I am unaware of. I want to be strong for my daughter, but I continue to cry everyday and convince myself she doesn't need the band. To just cancel everything. Dave brings me back into reality with it, but without him to do that, how will I do this? Can I do this? Is it possible to freak out about this any more than I am?
    I need to just tattoo Jeremiah 29:11 on my forehead.